The Night Before I Left...

It seems like yesterday when I first left Manila for Sorsogon.

Mare (Glenford), came to visit me earlier, just before I finish packing my things for tonight's trip. As we chat our way to good old times and the what's latest with our lives I can't help but connect this to the first time I left to settle in Sorsogon--he was also here the night before I left.

We have been friends since High School. Indeed a good friends are hard to find, and just like the friends that came since I was a kid, Mare is definitely for keeps.

It's been five years since we last saw each other. I came here for Christmas vacation and just like every vacation I spent here in Manila since I went away, Mare was one of those good friends that came to pay me a visit. But after graduating high school, we never get to continue communication.

Then came my comeback and the internet connection....

Boy was I glad! after more than five years I get to continue friendship with them. First there was RZ whom I met while going home from Misa de gallo. After a few months I saw Glenford and the rest of the gang through friendster.

As Mare came tonight to bid me luck, not goodbye--for there's no room for goodbyes--I realize how blessed I was all this years--from belonging to a great family to having true friends. Definitely I'll cherish these priceless and timeless treasures....

The Liar and the Cheater

Are you a Kapamilya or a Kapuso?

These two networks have been battling each other since time immemorial, and honestly I think the only time that I saw these two network, seem to have made their truce, is during the peninsula siege, when the media men were taken to Camp Bagong Diwa.

Presently, there are times when I get irritated in watching television, especially whenever I'm tuned in to these two networks. They make me feel bored and annoyed over their accusations they throw at each other. And as days passed by I don't know who's the Liar nor the Cheater!

In all those years of competing with each other, if there was a positive outcome in their stunts, from being the original to being the copycat of shows, it is the fact that their competition created programs that help the less fortunate. From contests to breaks. And even though there was once the undisputed word war of Joey De Leon and Willie Revillame, their shows still were helping people.

So, whether you are a Kapamilya or a Kapuso, it doesn't matter. There are even times when I change channel, not because the other channel shows a better show than the other but rather both shows are hard to miss.

Right now I just want to say that I'm perfectly fed up from this circus of accusations.... Thank God I'm not involve in their industry....

Going Back

Am I ready to go back?

It seems that what I thought would take long may actually come sooner than expected. Recently me and my family are facing a a certain problem that the solution, so it happens, is to go back.

Earlier this week my mom came to me and talked about it. We were to go home this coming Sunday early morn. As of now, I haven't packed my bags with this ambivalent feeling about this whole scenario of going back. I really am not sure whether to pack all my clothes up or leaves most of it since I'm not so sure about staying there. I may have great moments which I truly treasure and would wish to go back to yet there are all those painful moments, especially those head aching moments, that I do not wish to return to (or even come across face to face).

Honestly, at this very moment, trying to figure out how to keep my chin up on this matter, I am getting myself all focused on the fact that I have to face all the stuff that would somehow, as I return, would definitely make my blood boil....ahhhhhh!!!!!

There's no turning back now. I have to go and face it....hopefully this time they'll see someone more grown up and more of untouchable (someone not to mess up)....

Me and my walls....

I sit here typing away what I think is the best cure for being alone with the walls on my room.


They just left. My dad and my siblings. Presently they are on their way back to Sorsogon. It's back to school again for my siblings and right now I can't feel anything except the sadness of parting ways with them. God I miss them!


But three months (or maybe two), isn't long. They'll be back this summer vacation and my dad will still be coming here for my mom (for something very important).

As they were here, the two weeks became loud and cheerful. Though the entire house went into a whirlwind of unending mess (though we keep constant tidying), warmth filled it. My family was whole and we were blessed indeed, even with the struggles we faced.

It was a time when facts were placed in front of me at how blessed I was and the coward I've become to face the ghost that never existed.

It's already been an hour since they drove out. Earlier while they were waiting to enter the van as papa warmed it up, realizations came. Standing in the cold night, all dressed up for travel used to be my thing and right now I wished I was part of it again. I was missing travel. The views we passed by....the people we met along the way. Then there was also the destination--I was missing Sorsogon more....

How I wish I was dressed up and ready to get in the van with my siblings....How I wish to go back and spend days again there. But there are just some things that seems to keep me from going back....

Time will come that me and my mom will return to Sorsogon. Hopefully when that day comes it will be just like before--with our family whole and the our baby--Braumz (our dog), to squeez with us again with his wagging tail....

The New Year with a Bang!

I never allowed myself to skip mass especially with the new year coming, and just like misa de gallo, I came with my family and friends (this time with my younger brother while my two other siblings who were with us during Christmas mass was left to babysit my grandma).

As I sat there listening to the mass, I could already feel something wrong in me. I tried to hold the cough that's been pestering me the whole day and my nose seems to be holding a blow that wishes to expose itself. Luckily I was wearing a sweater to beat off any cause to add further havoc in my health.

Alas came twelve! HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Feeling sorry for our shivering youngest--our pet dog Braumz, I went to the kitchen where we kept him, somehow trying to relieve his sensitive senses. Luckily I easily got him calmed down (though I think other family members already did before I came--atleast I helped). Good thing I was there for as soon as the clock struck twelve the noise became more louder than ever, from the rock music playing from our sound sytem (and the club mix of the neighbor), to the sound of firecrackers which may be pretty except for that odious stinge and smoke.....

Still it was indeed a Happy New Year!!!

My family was whole....

we have had so much blessings....

we were given a chance to be blessings.....

Though there were problems and there are still worries we presently face, I can feel that this year will be better than last time....I count on God for that!!!!