I sit here typing away what I think is the best cure for being alone with the walls on my room.
They just left. My dad and my siblings. Presently they are on their way back to Sorsogon. It's back to school again for my siblings and right now I can't feel anything except the sadness of parting ways with them. God I miss them!
But three months (or maybe two), isn't long. They'll be back this summer vacation and my dad will still be coming here for my mom (for something very important).
As they were here, the two weeks became loud and cheerful. Though the entire house went into a whirlwind of unending mess (though we keep constant tidying), warmth filled it. My family was whole and we were blessed indeed, even with the struggles we faced.
It was a time when facts were placed in front of me at how blessed I was and the coward I've become to face the ghost that never existed.
It's already been an hour since they drove out. Earlier while they were waiting to enter the van as papa warmed it up, realizations came. Standing in the cold night, all dressed up for travel used to be my thing and right now I wished I was part of it again. I was missing travel. The views we passed by....the people we met along the way. Then there was also the destination--I was missing Sorsogon more....
How I wish I was dressed up and ready to get in the van with my siblings....How I wish to go back and spend days again there. But there are just some things that seems to keep me from going back....
Time will come that me and my mom will return to Sorsogon. Hopefully when that day comes it will be just like before--with our family whole and the our baby--Braumz (our dog), to squeez with us again with his wagging tail....
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